Let me tell you ’bout my small group.
I joined this small group (scrolls through Group Me for 15 minutes) in the summer/fall of last year. I had a long period where I didn’t go because I believed I could be fine without the accountability. HA!
Anyway, since Thanksgiving I’d say I’ve really been involved and holy CARPE DIEM do I love these ladies!!! Oh my gosh! They’re amazing. The ability to switch between deep, coded conversation about “The Bachelor” (coded to spare the girls who haven’t caught up from spoilers) to 100% honesty about emotions and spiritual enlightments/endarkenments (it’s not a word but it should be) really warms my heart.
(I would like to insert an apology for the excessive use of the parenthetical today.)
ANYWAY! We meet on Thursdays so last night we rolled up to group with this much information: “bring a notebook”.
My own week has been marked by a very intense and random panic attack that occurred on Tuesday while I was at work. Perfect. Out of absolutely nowhere this tangible sense of impending doom just descended on me like a plague of locusts. It was horrible! I noted that it started around 8:00 pm on Tuesday because I wondered what else had happened at that very moment.
Tuesday to Thursday. Once we all get seated last night, our fearless leader Kristen (hay girl hay!) let us in on some information. Things had been happening with multiple members of our group throughout the whole week. But I’m not talking about parking ticket things. I’m talking big, life altering, permanently scarring things. I’m talking about things that have to be from satan because there is NO other explanation for that kind of evil in the world. In our notebooks, we got honest about anger and pain and trauma. And as I wrote in my “E-Group” journal, I thought about a phrase I recently found in my daily journal.
Back in December I was working on surrendering control because, well, it’s not mine to begin with. But I closed out the day, I wrote this:
“It’s all Yours.
Show me what You’ve got.”
Show me what You’ve got.
Show me what You’ve got.
I thought about the fact that we all have times in our lives when satan comes at us. And you can just hear his slimy whispery voice all over your life. Honestly, I just imagine satan’s voice is about like Voldemort’s in the first Harry Potter movie. But he is there and whispering and trying to tell you that he is powerful and he’s saying, “Look what I’ve done. Look what I’m doing!” and you just find yourself thinking “Look what He’s got!”
It feels like an end. It feels hopeless. It feels…like it’s time to pivot. Quit looking down at satan. Look up.
“I look up to the mountains; does my strength come from mountains? No, my strength comes from God, who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.”Psalm 121:1-2, MSG
When satan is showing you what he THINKS he’s got…it’s time to turn to God and pray that prayer: “Show me what YOU’VE got.”
Spoiler alert: He has it all. Including the victory.
P.S. I wrote this song for my girls. Usually I would use my real nice camera and my good quality microphone before I post a video, but as Phoebe Buffay once said, “There isn’t always time!” This song is for my girls, but for you too. For the times when you think you’re all out…I promise you’re not. God promises you’re not. You’ve got a little fight left in you. And God can’t wait to show you what He can do with that.